Saturday, August 25, 2007

Box News: Tidbit #1

This is not a tidbit.

Skanky Jane's Box News Edition
Tidbit #1: Local Pablum of Mythological Contortion
by Ms Representation

Ms Representation is an academic, freelance journalist, screenplay writer and current Chief Editor of Skanky Jane's Box News Edition. Having used a pseudonym for her entire career (spanning three decades), Ms Representation has "come out" to write for the B.Box under her real name. Ms Representation has been published in leading newspapers, magazines and academic journals all over the world.

Ol' Rupe's subsidiary interest, The Messenger , recently published two especially news-worthy articles. Especially, especially news-worthy when you note that, when pasted together, the titles of these two articles spell out the phrase: Wheelie Baffling Crime On Our Streets. Well, here at Box News, we take a zero tolerance approach to phrases of that sort. Thus, without further tolerance, we marched our civil minded little BBox right down to the local cop shop.

After briefly introducing the Box News Crew (during which Skanky did a little performance number), we outlined our plan for clearing up all of this wheelie baffling crime on our streets. All that was needed, we explained to the wheelie nice police woman, was to create a highly sophisticated, three-pronged, stinging operation combining the resources of:

  1. The entire South Australian Police Force
  2. Every single Watch SA volunteer who could be mustered
  3. One Skanky Jane
Oddly enough, the cops weren't interested in us or our strategy. They did however arrest Skanky Jane on five violations of the hoon legislation (she wandered off!) - before hoofing us out of the building.

Boy were we deflated. Skanky managed to slip this guy's card into the arresting officer's trouser pocket though and she said he said that he would definitely call for advice. So it wasn't a total loss - besides SJ hooked up with a really nice guy who paid our bus fare home. The wheelie bad news came with the following Watch SAnewsletter and the realisation that Box News didn't even get a mention in this month's list of Police Clearups.

Box News Public Service Announcement

WATCH SA (...for safer neighbourhoods)

Watch SA, South Plympton (2) Area 339, would like some feedback on whether you would like the Police Clearups included in future newsletters. Please contact them with your views.

No comments:

Post a Comment